Appointment Update!

Okay. Update :)

I'm on day 2 of the Prozac 20 mg. This past week I decreased my binging and purging to 2 times a day and I'm hoping to get that down to 1 this week! I can't WAIT until the first day of no binging or purging. It will definitely call for a celebration! lol. Anyway I'm still having trouble sleeping and I absolutely believe its a side effect of the Prozac at this point. As far as my mood goes, it has still been up and down. Yesterday it was really down, I think the whole dad situation that I talked about in my previous entry kinda set the tone for the day.

So I had two appointments- the first with my dietitian. Turns out my weight did go down a bit but she said it may be due to my decrease in binging. I've been doing really well with breakfast, I now eat the entire thing without purging!! Now I'm going to try and tackle dinner. She said since I had success with my method I took for breakfast (starting out with half portions of everything and working my way up to a full breakfast serving) that I was okay to do that for dinner. However now I have to add a 300 calorie "fun food" at night to stop the weight loss. We went and bought these yummy Rolo ice cream sandwiches which were SUPER delicious and they were small enough that they didn't make me feel sick.

Anywho. I had the next meeting with my therapist and we didn't end up talking about the "thing" that I wanted to talk about with my mom because my dietitian showed up to the meeting as well so we decided that we would solely dedicate this appointment to educating my mom on the disease and how to be a better support. My therapist suggested that she come back next week so we can spend an entire hour on the subject, which I agreed was a good idea. So my mom is doing great so far with everything. I'm finding that it is easier for me to talk to her lately and it feels great.

Tonight is my wonderful boyfriend "J's" graduation! I'm so excited for him! He works so hard in everything he does and he is always so successful.I am so in love with J. He has been by my side every step of the way during my relapse/road to recovery.

 

 Stay strong, stay YOU

Colette xo

Appointment with Mom Tonight.... Wish Me Luck!

So. Today I am bringing my mom to my appointment with my therapist. My mom needs a lot more education on eating disorders. I know she wants to help me as much as she can but she just doesn't know how to- she feels helpless (something I think is common among parents). Often I have a hard to talking to her because of the constant worry of being judged or not taken seriously. Anyway my therapist said that she would love to help educate my mom and help her identify the separation of the ED from the person. I am really optimistic about this and hoping that this will help open up the lines of communication between us.

There is also something else that I have to talk to my mom about during the appointment, something I've been wanting to talk about for a very long time now. I've been carrying around a secret for about 3 years about something - not so great - that happened to me when I was 17. Actually it wasn't until about a month ago that I realized the significance of this event. I've kinda pushed it out of my mind for the past few years and now it is really surfacing. I am now understanding that finally letting go of this secret will be very therapeutic and freeing. I am so scared though- I feel like my mom tends to minimize things that are important to me sometimes. I also think it is human nature to minimize terrible things that happen to loved ones... No one likes accepting those kinds of things.

On the other hand, I feel like this will also help open up our lines of communication and help me be able to talk about more things with her. I am really, really  hoping that we can strengthen our relationship as mom and daughter- a relationship that I have been missing for the past 7 years.

Anyway I don't know if I'm ready just yet to talk about this event on my blog- maybe some time soon though.

So ya... WISH ME LUCK!

Stay strong, stay YOU
Colette xo